Carlos Barria / Courtesy Reuters Women talk while filming a dating show in Shanghai, August 2013.

Tough Love

Money and Mistresses in the Middle Kingdom

Since the early years of the twentieth century, Chinese social reformers, including leaders of the Chinese Communist Party, have repeatedly attacked the traditional family structure and sought to purge marriage and romantic relationships of their transactional qualities. Many communists were influenced by the German socialist Friedrich Engels’ account of the loveless bourgeois marriages that plagued capitalist societies, and one of the CCP’s first reforms was to ban arranged marriages, prostitution, and the buying and selling of brides. Such efforts were successful, at least in part. Notions of pure love and romance, untainted by financial interest or familial interference, have since come to serve as important reference points for many Chinese. In recent decades, however, the country’s wave of new wealth, combined with an overheated real estate market, has returned material considerations and transactions to the forefront of relations between the sexes.

At the center of this new reality is a type of woman the feminist economist He Qinglian calls “gray” -- one who stands somewhere between the legitimate, “white” world of marriage and the illegitimate, “black” underworld of prostitution. These so-called gray women include the mistresses and “second wives” (ernai) of wealthy, powerful men, as well as the hostesses and massage girls who entertain the elite. They are often the beneficiaries of the ill-gotten wealth of shady businessmen and corrupt government officials, and they play a key role in mediating ties between elite men. This class of women, He argues, is a direct product of China’s current period

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